This first post on my new blog will hopefully provide you with an idea of who I am and the journey I am on. To read my welcome or introduction to Reflections, click Welcome to Reflections.

Grieving the death of my husband Bill was, in the first two years, mostly about gut wrenching pain; tears; feeling lost, alone and confused. I fumbled about; missed him and our life; grieved all he lost; and lived in a fog of sorts. I was overdoing and under doing and more. However, as I look back now, those years were also about insights, learning, growth, and incredibly compassionate wounded healers who know grief well. These people, strangers for the most part but now friends, came into my life, heard me, helped me and still support me as I walk my journey through pain. Wounded healers are real people; people unafraid of pain, tears, loss, death and grief. Many of them are deeply involved in changing attitudes and knowledge about loss, death and grief as we relate to it (or not) in our culture. These years taught me how poorly we as a society understand and deal with grief. Many, too many, do not know how to reach out to someone in the throes of grief's agony. Instead some disappear quickly following a death. Others try and want so much to help, but just do not know what to say. It is that lesson that drives my passion to assist those who grieve and to help change the way our death phobic society deals with loss, end of life issues, death and grief.
I am launching this website on the fourth anniversary of Bill's death. It seems impossible that it has been four years since I felt his final heart beat beneath my hand...his final exhalation on my cheek. It also feels like a century ago since I have seen him, hugged him and heard his wonderful voice. Bill was my husband, best friend, soulmate, and colleague. We fit hand in glove. He was a clinical psychologist with a long history of clinical work and always a waiting list. We practiced together for many years. Losing him, as every one who has lost a spouse knows, meant losing a part of me. It meant losing our lifestyle, my co-worker, and well...our normal.

 
 

A Look at Reflections

Welcome to my blog. Reflections, was the name of the weekly column I wrote for sixteen years for three different newspapers. That chapter behind me, this new version of Reflections will run here with hopes that, like my columns over the years, each post will lead you to reflect, mull,  ponder and perhaps occasionally use to enhance your life. I hope you will read my first post, From Reeling to Healing.
Early in my journey through the grief of losing my husband Bill, I likened the journey through grief to walking a labyrinth. A labyrinth is used for meditation and reflecting. It is a circular but single path taking those who walk it to the circle's center. The path goes first in one direction, then another opposite direction. It goes around, back and forth, in towards the center and back out to the edge several times ultimately ending in the center, a place of enlightenment and peace. Like grief the journey is far from a straight line and often feels as if we are going nowhere or repeating our steps.

 

Personal Growth &
Grief Support Center